hobbit talk two
by Kyres A
Summary: ah what is there to say? NOTHING!! sooo....... REVIEW!!!!!
1. and so it begins dun dun dun

Hobbit talk is mine but the hobbits, elves, wizards, and other creatures we may encounter are not mine.  
  
Jade is a half breed hobbit she is also an elf  
  
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However on a side note PLEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got really depressed last time I only got bad reviews.  
  
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jade stood silent in the elevator as it went up , up , up and up, till it reached 14 where she always made it stop before going one more floor just to try to catch a glimpse of Frodo, although this time she had a reason to walk those 88 steps to his door, yes that's right she counted. Exactly 88 steps one foot in front of the other before she was in front of his door.  
  
So she started walking. 22 steps 23, 24-  
  
"Jade?" She spun around so fast that the person behind her dropped what he was holding.  
  
"PIPPIN!!" she could barely utter anything but a tense whisper. "Pippin what are you doing here?" "Sam paid me five bucks to go get his and Frodo's groceries" Sam rushed out of his apartment, as the elevator doors opened to reveal Merry.  
  
"OH NO THE FOOD!!" Sam and Merry said in unison. "What's with the-" "sixth- sense" they said together once more. "We can both tell when food has been spilled within a 10 mile radius" merry said. "Pippin I'm thoroughly ashamed of you, spilling food" Sam added. They all gathered up the food and put it back in the bags then Sam and merry gathered it in their arms and ran into the apartment. "Hang on why are you here?" pippin asked "oh well I-" "hello what are you all doing out here the foods in there" Frodo said teasingly. Jade tightened her grip on what she was holding gave a piercing stare to Pippin who clued in automatically understood so he got up and said "well I better go and earn my five bucks" and then he walked into the apartment. "So how are you jade?"  
  
Suddenly the screen turns black and white.  
  
"Frodo I've been meaning to tell you this since the first moment I met you Frodo I love you!!" "Jade I feel the same way I always have" Frodo grabed her around the waist and neck gave her the most passionate kiss in history.  
  
The screen turns back to normal.  
  
"Jade?" "I-..Uh.wel-.i-er-a." "Ok..what's that?"he pointed to what she was holding in her hand. "Oh. (She flushed) ha...Heh.he he he heh heh" she opened her hand to reveal a very crumpled looking envelope. "Oh! Finally I was wondering when veronica was gonna write me back. Heh heh."  
  
'What!!' jade thought to herself 'there's another girl in Frodo's life!!' who was she kidding Frodo doesn't even know if she can talk! Every time she attempts to talk to him she sputters well she wasn't fooling herself or anyone else seeing as she was only thinking it, well anyway she had to find out everything she could about this 'Veronica'.  
  
Pippin sat alone in a dark room full of brooms. Suddenly the door opened and light filled the room for 30 seconds before the door shut again to reveal jade. "Jade what am I doing here? Last thing I remember is.. Nothing!! I don't remember anything!! Wait I remember a white cloth" "yes chloroform, it was necessary, I knew you wouldn't come on your own free will." "You know, actually I would've come on my own free will!!" "Well maybe you should say that before I pay people to chloroform you, it does cost money you know!!" "Wait how am I supposed to tell you or them if they come up behind me with a cloth full of chloroform and stick it on my mouth and nose before I can say anything?" "You've begun to annoy me!!" jade pressed a big red button and pippins chair tipped forward dumping him into a whole under the table.  
  
Suddenly the ceiling opened and Sam fell through. "Mr. Sam I'm sure you already know why you're here but I'll humor you, I'm here to discuss the person named 'Veronica'. As I'm sure you know Frodo has been writing to her I want to know if it goes beyond that into passionate circumstances." "to tell you the truth for one: your crazy, for two: your crazy, and for three: IT'S HIS LITTLE SISTER!!" "Frodo doesn't have a sister!!" "Well not technically but he adopted her three months ago."  
  
"Oh Well your free to go!!" "Where's merry and pippin?" "Oh fine" jade pushed another button and merry fell through the ceiling and pippin came up through the floor looking rather tattered and merry rushed over to him and helped him up. "Well sorry about all this" jade said. "Here's a hundred dollars each buy something pretty" "thanks jade!!" merry pippin and Sam said in unison. And they all walked out of the room and into Jade's limo and back to the apartment.  
  
When the limo stopped they all pilled out and began walking towards their apartment when Sam said "why did you make this out to be so big? I mean why do you care if Frodo has a girlfriend?" "Man are you that far behind?" pippin replied "She's liked him for ages!!" "Oh. well for making me feel stupid I'M GONNA TELL HIM!!"  
  
The next scene was the blurs of Sam Merry Pippin and Jade, as Sam ran at full speed away from Jade, Merry and Pippin. But Sam's full speed isn't that much so they caught him in the hotel lobby. "Hey what the-" "you dirty rat" "secret teller" and "you untrust-worthy little-" were heard in the struggle until finally pippin noticed what they were standing in the midst of. "Hey you guys look!!"  
  
There were white balloons and streamers everywhere, and tables, with table cloths!! And sitting at the bar was-  
  
"LEGOLAS!!! What are you doing here? You live next apartment over!!" "meh appartymenty don' gots an freeee bar- nother around bar-keepey!!!"  
  
DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNN!!!!!!  
  
Sorry to leave it hanging I have to do this early in the morning before my brother wakes up because its his computer truth there is 2 computers but this is the only one with Microsoft word  
  
Sorry if it's crappy or to short I just wrote what I felt like and when I was out of ideas I stopped.  
  
Next chapter: legolas's hangover and girlfriends and boyfriends  
  
well anyways REVIEW PLEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!!!!!! 


	2. the real chapter two

Dislcaimer: Ok I met this totally rad guy but he doesn't like me at all and its strange cuz he has a huge crush on my friend Natasha and it's this whole big thing that's crazy and weird because I have this huge (and may I add) -er crush on him. You really didn't need to know that or the next thing I'm writing but it's all for the sake of writing, right? And I saw school of rock on Monday and fate waz against me and my sis but I have no idea why!! Ok so here's what happened, first, on her way to pick me up from my friends she drove her car into a ditch, then we almost died cuz a huge pit-bull went right in front of the car when we were going there and then the people behind us in the theatre kept kicking our chairs on purpose.  
  
I think maybe that waz a bit too long, and I'm not even sure if that's a disclaimer???  
  
Ok so I'm gonna have to switch around the chapters cuz I forgot the legolas thingy so here's the REAL chapter two...  
  
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They ran over to legolas hurriedly, wondering what he was doing here.  
  
"Legolas, our bar isn't free, how're you getting free beer?" jade asked.  
  
"It's free when you're getting married!!" he replied  
  
"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED??" pippin screamed.  
  
" To who?" Sam and merry said together.  
  
"I'm not sure.it's this new reality show, uummm what is it? .......oh yeah that's it,  
  
"blind marriage" it's a great show and I have no idea who I'm marrying!!"  
  
"Yeah that's great well are we invited?" jade asked.  
  
"Sure, its not gonna be happening for another three days though."  
  
"That's perfect!!" merry replied.  
  
"Ok well it's in my apartment lobby so be there in three days at 2:00 pm"  
  
"Wait is Frodo invited?" Sam asked.  
  
"Sure why not!!"  
  
"Ok then we'll be there" pippin replied.  
  
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That night..  
  
Jade lay in her bed, in her room, in her apartment, in the building, in Manhattan, in New York State, in the U.S., in North America, in the world, in the solar system, in the universe, wondering about the wedding and suddenly she had a thought which called for immediate action. She pushed the little black button on her bed post and immediately got dressed.  
  
She walked out of her in time to meet merry and pippin. Just then the doorbell rang, merry opened it. Sam walked in. they all looked at each other, and nodded.  
  
Silently they moved the couch aside, lifted up the carpet, pulled open the trap door, and slid the tile out of the way. They one by one, jade in the lead, climbed into the just big enough for hobbits tunnel and slid onward on the roller planks towards the end of the tunnel. When they reached it she pushed the black door up and went through, grabbed the edges of the ladder and Slid down followed by pippin, merry, and Sam. Down, down they went underground, till they reached their destination.  
  
They stepped through the double doors jade in front, merry, pippin, and Sam behind. They stepped onto the circles on the floor. Jade and pippin looked at each other and jade nodded. Pippin hit his belt which had a green button on it, and they sunk into the floor. Four chairs rose up at the table on the other side of the room, containing one of the four in each.  
  
"Who knew we were that coordinated?" pippin said to merry who agreed with him  
  
"SILENCE!! This session of the secret board of shadowy figures has begun" jade said as the president and founder of the board. "But we weren't talking; you say that every time and we're never talking" "Umm actually Sam we were talking this time" "Oh well never mind then.." He said blushing at his stupidity.  
  
"Well the reason we're here is to discuss this matter of legolas's wedding." Jade said in her cool and calm voice. "What's to discuss, we're going" Sam said. "Yes but further more, with who?" "Each other?" Sam replied. "No Sam you idiot" pippin replied. "She means dates" "Oh..Well I'll be taking Mulie" he replied "Mulie?"jade questioned. "Yes her mother was writing her name down then she sneezed and it turned out an "m" not a "j"." "Uh-huh.ok" she answered. "oohh, I have .let me see.. Aw pippin do you have the book?" merry asked. "Yup, just a second.." he said, while going through his pockets. "Here we go." He pulled a small black object from his pants. Jade sat there bewildered at what was going on. "Ok so merry why don't you take. Melinda and I'll take Miranda? " "Sounds good to me I'll call them tomorrow" "They are in our fan club. Apparently someone that looks like Billy or Dominique really get some action and we're not even them!!" pippin said noticing that jade and Sam were confused. "So I'm the only one without a date." "You could ask Frodo." merry said. "Yeah that's gonna work!!" "Well then your just gonna have to find someone." "You're a real quick one there Sam." she snapped.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Ok sorry about the mix up with the chapters it takes me so long to write them I half forget what was in the last one. Anyway, REVIEW. For those of you that don't know how scroll down completely and in the left corner there's a little box that says "submit review" and next to it there's a box that says "go", click on it and it'll tell you what to do. 


	3. jade meets someone new, and pippin and m...

Ok so what's with the whole disclaimer thing anyway?? Hey add me the_crush_425@hotmail.com *note* I am not the owner of that idea. If you are a hot guy I would especially like it (Sorry I sound like a ditz!! lol) and if you love music then yeah add me.  
  
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Moving on I don't own any characters except for jade and the guest star for the next few chaps (I would tell you who it is but I don't want to ruin it)  
  
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And so it begins  
  
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Jade sat alone at the counter sitting on one of the little round chairs at the most expensive bar she could afford. Which was THE most expensive one there was in New-York!  
  
"nothseeeeeer rooooonded barkeptey. Hey! keptey rhymes wis' hemptteyyyyyy" she said through her drunken slur . "I think you've had enough." "I'll tells yer whens I 'ave gotst enouuuuf." "Well I say when your tabs up and its up so get out!!" "Fine s'en yer big meanie!!"jade walked walked out of the bar full of non- alcoholic beer.  
  
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The next day at work jade sat at the table in the sets coffee room. It was only her and this guy she couldn't really see. She was really tired from last night, she hadn't gone to bed till 5:00 am. "Everything ok there jade?"  
  
She chugged down the coffee and here vision cleared slightly. " yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fi-n-e" she said looking up, but she found it difficult to finish her sentence, because sitting across from her was the second hottest guy she had ever seen. Big brown eyes, light brown hair. The strange thing about him was he wasn't wearing a suit, or even dress pants and shoes, he was wearing DCSHOESCO.USA shirt and jeans with quicksilver shoes.  
  
"Are you sure? You look kinda tired"  
  
"Ha-ve we met be-fo-re?" she asked.  
  
"well yes, but, it was only in the interview, and, you were holding a picture of someone you called "fro-dumply-pumply-kinsy", but we never made eye contact , you just said "you're hired, just GET OUT!!! And leave me be!!!!" "  
  
"Oh, well, yes, I- had- I had just met someone, and, eeerrrr-a, whats your name anyhow?"  
  
"Oh sorry, I'm David, David Many."  
  
(o-o-c: ha ha Lindsay, Beth, laillie(shudders after writing the name) ok this is an inside joke that I doubt they'll find funny)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Meanwhile..  
  
"I told you, there is no blue-print needed when making a Q-tip!!" Merry said, getting quite annoyed.  
  
"I'm telling you, you do, just look at how complex this is, look the plastic, just the right length and width to fit in your ear, and the cotton, such silk like cotton, woven so tightly around BOTH sides!!"  
  
"There's only one way to settle this." Merry said triumphantly.....  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Ha-ha-ha DUN, DUN, DUN!! !! !! !! !! lol well let me just remind you, REVIEWWWWWWWW!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! Well im sorry I didn't do the legolas thing I couldn't remember what I was gonna do but I'll have it in for the start of the next chapter. And so until next time I LUV MR.X 


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